Be the light....

What a crazy couple of months it has been!! So much has happened I don't know where I left off last and I don't know where to begin now...

I started a new job in August...was really very excited about it. A new program to help homeless people get off the street and find work and get stabilized...sounds amazing right? Well despite the 40-45 minute drive in the morning and again at night, filling up with gas multiple times a week and the fact that I never get to see Jeff because I go straight from work to class until 10:30, the job is not at all what I expected it to be. I absolutely love everyone I work with, the ladies in my office are really sweet, my very own office, nice and quiet. Seems dreamy compared to working at the school getting beat up every day. But I am finding that I have to turn people away more than I can actually help people and it is killing me. I am a happy ending kind of girl, I need problems solved at the end of the day. I cannot stand seeing people walk away hopeless with nothing I can do about it. So I started job searching again...

In the meantime I went back to the neurologist. A new one this time!!! Dr. Hammoudi. I love him! Not only did he tell me that the old neurologist was wrong, and that I did NOT have a stroke, but he also lowered the dosage of medication I was taking because the Dr. before just stuck me on the highest dose from the very beginning. He gave me lots of time to ask all my questions and gave me very specific answers. He was friendly with a great bedside manner...NOT at all like the last guy who said..."you had a stroke, cant say for sure when, you have epilepsy, take these pills, we'll check your blood every 2 months to make sure your organs aren't shutting down, good luck". So anyways, the doc wants to re-test me in about a year so i'll get to spend some time in the hospital again, but he wants to actually do the testing himself and see if he can come up with any other explanations. Unfortunately he told me that because of my medication, we have to let him know a YEAR in advance if we want to try getting pregnant. A YEAR!! Because my medicine can cause deformation and other problems they want to put me on high doses of folic acid and try to wean me off medication if I can stand it. Kinda scary but I know it will work out in the end.

Jeff has been super busy lately, but its all been very exciting. He started a new worship band with some friends and they have been practicing and playing a lot. They just started recording a cd and I find myself getting their songs stuck in my head while i'm at work. I am so proud of the guys for pouring themselves into this. They are all so passionate and get excited about the people they are blessing with their music. Jeff also got asked to take part in a larger scale worship team that is a huge opportunity for him. It has been so awesome to see him growing as a leader and I am so proud of all the work he is putting into this.

Aside from work, I am still going to school full time in the evenings. I have 3 classes left for this semester and then after Christmas I begin my last semester which entails only one class one night a week and an independent study class with the same instructor. I am so excited to be finishing I cannot even describe it. Jeff and I have begun to see the light at the end of the tunnel and are starting to remember what life was like before I was in school. Last night we spent the entire night on the couch just making jokes and being silly and talking and remembering the things we used to do while we were dating. It may sound stupid but we had a blast. We seriously spent about 10 minutes staring at each other trying to see if we could make the other person laugh first. I always win!!! He can't keep a straight face for anything!! My favorite quote of the night came when I made a comment about if he had known what he was getting into when he asked me to marry him, he would have run for the hills and he said "no, I love you way more now then I loved you the day we got married, and I loved you a lot then, I mean A LOT!" It wasn't what he said but the way he said it, like a little boy describing something as being "this big" with eyes wide and arms stretched out. It was so cute!!! I am so blessed that after 3 and a half years of marriage this boy still gives me butterflies in my stomach! I wish he didn't have to deal with the baggage of my past though. Unfortunately this girl is still dealing with daddy abandonment issues and can be a little unsure of herself. I woke up in complete hysteria the other night after having a terrible nightmare about Jeff and he woke up and had to console me back to sleep reassuring me that he wasn't going anywhere. Freud would have hayday with me :) But despite all that Jeff is still my favorite person in the world, my best friend, and our relationship is always growing and changing and I can't wait to see where it goes from here!

In the last few months I have taken on a new challenge. I started my own photography "business" and have actually put in a lot of time and money trying to get myself set up to launch here soon. Jeff said this is the first thing he's ever seen me just jump right into with both feet. I am super excited about where this is headed, I sure am having a blast doing it!!

Lastly...bringing us back to the first topic of this blog...work...I got an offer, just waiting to hear the details....will keep everyone posted.